Spoof YSTV listings explained

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Many of the descriptions contain a lot of in-jokes from the station team of the period, which I've tried to annotate and explain here.


0600 YSTV Breakfast

  • Start your day with news, sport, travel and weather. With James Murnaghan and Kat Kaplinsky.

Referring to the slick presenting combination of James Gallagher and Kat Sutton who had opened Elections 2005.

0925 Kate

  • The daily discussion show featuring chavs, fatties, inbreds and the lie detector.

This was down to Kate Rushworth's love of ITV1's 'Trisha', for which Jonathan Bufton often showed his disdain for on Small Screen.

1030 Bargain Hunt:

  • Drew trawls eBay to see if there's anything worth snapping up.

Inspired by Drew Perry's exercise in selling a broken football goal frame as "Modern Art" on ebay.

1100 Flog It!

  • Richard leaves a load of stuff in the doorway because he wants to sell it.

At the time (and to this day) the entrance to the station was dominated by a pile of technical equipment that was deemed to be of no use to the station but good enough to be worth selling. None of it ever got sold, however.

1130 The Daily Politics

  • Like Bona Dicta, but every day. Fun.

The Matthew Platts era Bona Dicta was often poorly crewed.

1230 Judge Judy

  • Today: should Sarah be allowed to date outside of YSTV?

There were about five YSTV relationships happening at this point, so Sarah's decision to date outside YSTV was quite a controversial one! (she later solved this problem by bringing Rick into YSTV)

1300 Still of Greg Dyke With The Caption 'He Likes YSTV'

  • Because we can.

Greg Dyke gave YSTV two interviews in 2004-5.

1400 Ozzy Atton: A Celebration

  • Clips from Elections 2003,4 and 5; Bona Dicta; YSTV Week and Battle of the Bands. No particular reason, though, just to celebrate the man.

At the time there was a campus-wide gag on reporting the impending trial of Mr Atton.

1529 The Best of Off The Cuff

  • YSTV's biggest flop of the period, which had few highlights.

1530 CYSTV

  • Favourite programmes for younger viewers, including

1530 Kat & Ben

  • New version of the flowerpot-based show for the 21st century, where Ben boots Bill out of his pot because he'd like his girlfriend to move in.

At this point Kat Sutton and Ben Tattersall-Smith were going out with each other.

1545 Short Change

  • Everyone goes to James asking for some.

As in James Thorniley, at the time YSTV's treasurer.

1610 P169/169

  • Confusing vision-control-based version of the Scottish schools show.

1635 The Story of Dave Baker

  • Dave rescues computers from computer services, known as the 'dumping ground', and provides frequent animated sections for the show for no particular reason.

Dave Baker was both Computing Officer and the creator of Learning Curves.

1700 Blue Peter

  • Pete, Sarah and Lucy show you how to make a new look for your own music show.

The Music Show has at this point had three face lifts and changes of title sequences in as many months

1725 Bulletin

  • Very short news program that's hardly worth bothering with.

Before it was axed, Bulletin got shorter and shorter due to a shortage of news.

1735 Neighbours

  • Day-to-day quarrels and romance between YSTV and Ents.

YSTV and Ents lived next door to each other (and still do).

1800 The Simpsons

  • Because we've always shown it so we better carry on showing it.

In 2003 there was a minor internal controversy when The Simpsons was dropped from the YSTV schedules, as although a popular show it had become a bit of a campus joke that "all YSTV ever shows is The Simpsons". A compromise was reached where it would be shown once a week, instead of every day.

1830 Look North

  • Regional news programme covering Alcuin and surrounding areas.

1900 Wildlife on Campus

  • Ducks, ducks and more bloody ducks.

1930 GoodrickeEnders

  • There's shock in the college when the vending machine is out of Diet Coke Lemon, and the JCRC return big telly on time. Meanwhile C block residents attempt to construct doors to complement the frames already in place.

Goodricke JCRC often borrowed Big Telly for karaoke (for free) and would not return for days afterwards. When putting up posters around campus one Freshers' Week, YSTV members found a signs in C block promising that their kitchen furniture would be delivered soon...in week 2.

2000 Bailiffs

  • A look at what might happen to URY if SBN's lawyers get their way.

At the time, URY had just lost it's major financial support from the Student Broadcast Network, which had gone bankrupt

2030 Meet the Ancestors

  • 1/6: Michael Prior-Jones

Michael had left two years earlier and had become something of a legend in YSTV.

2100 Flinders: A Warning From History

  • Landmark documentary series about one of the greatest threats to face YSTV. Followed by Desperate Directors.

Referring to the leadership hoo-ha of summer 2004

2200 100 Greatest Music Show Title Sequences See the above notes on The Music Show's multiple title sequences.

2230 Bufton and Hughes Unplanned

Small Screen was fairly unstructured when it began...

2300 Question Time

  • Why is the clock sometimes black and white?

It still is...

  • Why is the clock always wrong?

It had a reputation for being wrong in this period as no-one could be bothered to re-set it.

  • Why do we carry on meeting at YSTV fifteen minutes before the meeting when we all know where we're going?

It started early in the academic year to help new members find their way to the meeting room but even when the meeting room for the term was in Derwent or Langwith, we'd still all go to Goodricke to walk over there together. Madness.

  • Why is there a photo of Joe Pasquale pinned to the wall by the monitor rack?

I still don't know!

  • Where did those holes in the floor come from?

Ditto!

  • Why not have circuit three before one and two because it is used more?

I still wonder.

  • Dan Smarg: true or false?

Dan had spent a lot of time using YSTV equipment to make a "film" in summer 2004, before promptly disappearing and giving YSTV no credit when it was finally released.

0000 Bona Dicta: The Bits They Tried To Ban

  • By popular demand, that Al Power monologue in full.

The Al Power monologues were one of the many surreal things that Matthew Platts introduced into Bona Dicta

0030 Great Phone Calls to YSTV

  • No. 37: "When do you start filming Heartbeat again?"

One of the many things that people have rung the station's external number and asked.

0035 Pages from Inform

0200 YSTV Learning Zone: Soldering with Richard Inspired by the discovery of a program called "Soldering with Adrian" seen on an archive compilation tape, and Richard Ash, the Technical Director of the period.

0300-0600 YSTV News 24

  • 24 minutes of news repeated till dawn.

At this time ITV News used to show the ITV 10 O'clock news bulletin on repeat all night.