Spoof YSTV listings explained
Many of the descriptions contain a lot of in-jokes from the station team of the period, which I've tried to annotate and explain here.
0600 YSTV Breakfast
- Start your day with news, sport, travel and weather. With James Murnaghan and Kat Kaplinsky.
0925 Kate
- The daily discussion show featuring chavs, fatties, inbreds and the lie detector.
These were all Kate Rushworth's favorite topics from the Shit TV section of Small Screen
1030 Bargain Hunt:
- Drew trawls eBay to see if there's anything worth snapping up.
Inspired by Drew Perry's exercise in selling a broken football goal frame as "Modern Art" on ebay.
1100 Flog It!
- Richard leaves a load of stuff in the doorway because he wants to sell it.
At the time the entrance to the station was dominated by a pile of technical equipment that was deemed to be of no use to the station but good enough to be worth selling. None of it ever got sold, however.
1130 The Daily Politics
- Like Bona Dicta, but every day. Fun.
1230 Judge Judy
- Today: should Sarah be allowed to date outside of YSTV?
1300 Still of Greg Dyke With The Caption 'He Likes YSTV'
- Because we can.
1400 Ozzy Atton: A Celebration
- Clips from Elections 2003,4 and 5; Bona Dicta; YSTV Week and Battle of the Bands. No particular reason, though, just to celebrate the man.
1529 The Best of Off The Cuff
1530 CYSTV
- Favourite programmes for younger viewers, including
1530 Kat & Ben
- New version of the flowerpot-based show for the 21st century, where Ben boots Bill out of his pot because he'd like his girlfriend to move in.
At this point Kat Sutton and Ben Tattersall-Smith were going out with each other.
1545 Short Change
- Everyone goes to James asking for some.
As in James Thorniley, at the time YSTV's treasurer.
1610 P169/169
- Confusing vision-control-based version of the Scottish schools show.
1635 The Story of Dave Baker
- Dave rescues computers from computer services, known as the 'dumping ground', and provides frequent animated sections for the show for no particular reason.
Dave Baker was both Computing Officer and the creator of Learning Curves.
1700 Blue Peter
- Pete, Sarah and Lucy show you how to make a new look for your own music show.
The Music Show has at this point had three face lifts and changes of title sequences in as many months
1725 Bulletin
- Very short news program that's hardly worth bothering with.
Before it was axed, Bulletin got shorter and shorter due to a shortage of news.
1735 Neighbours
- Day-to-day quarrels and romance between YSTV and Ents.
1800 The Simpsons
- Because we've always shown it so we better carry on showing it.
1830 Look North
- Regional news programme covering Alcuin and surrounding areas.
1900 Wildlife on Campus
- Ducks, ducks and more bloody ducks.
1930 GoodrickeEnders
- There's shock in the college when the vending machine is out of Diet Coke Lemon, and the JCRC return big telly on time. Meanwhile C block residents attempt to construct doors to complement the frames already in place.
2000 Bailiffs
- A look at what might happen to URY if SBN's lawyers get their way.
At the time, URY had just lost it's major financial support from the Student Broadcast Network, which had gone bankrupt
2030 Meet the Ancestors
- 1/6: Michael Prior-Jones
2100 Flinders: A Warning From History
- Landmark documentary series about one of the greatest threats to face YSTV. Followed by Desperate Directors.
2200 100 Greatest Music Show Title Sequences See the above notes on The Music Show's multiple title sequences.
2230 Bufton and Hughes Unplanned
- A look at the early days of Small Screen.
2300 Question Time
- Why is the clock sometimes black and white?
- Why is the clock always wrong?
- Why do we carry on meeting at YSTV fifteen minutes before the meeting when we all know where we're going?
- Why is there a photo of Joe Pasquale pinned to the wall by the monitor rack?
- Where did those holes in the floor come from?
- Why not have circuit three before one and two because it is used more?
- Dan Smarg: true or false?
0000 Bona Dicta: The Bits They Tried To Ban
- By popular demand, that Al Power monologue in full.
The Al Power monologues were one of the many surreal things that Matthew Platts introduced into Bona Dicta
0030 Great Phone Calls to YSTV
- No. 37: "When do you start filming Heartbeat again?"
One of the many things that people have rung the station's external number and asked.
0035 Pages from Inform
0200 YSTV Learning Zone: Soldering with Richard Inspired by the discovery of a program called "Soldering with Adrian" seen on an archive compilation tape.
0300-0600 YSTV News 24
- 24 minutes of news repeated till dawn.
At this time ITV News used to show the ITV 10 O'clock news bulletin on repeat all night.