Spoof YSTV listings explained
Many of the descriptions contain a lot of in-jokes from the station team of the period, which I've tried to annotate and explain here.
0600 YSTV Breakfast
- Start your day with news, sport, travel and weather. With James Murnaghan and Kat Kaplinsky.
0925 Kate
- The daily discussion show featuring chavs, fatties, inbreds and the lie detector.
These were all Kate Rushworth's favorite topics from the Shit TV section of Small Screen
1030
Bargain Hunt:
- Drew trawls eBay to see if there's anything worth snapping up.
1100 Flog It!
- Richard leaves a load of stuff in the doorway because he wants to sell it.
1130 The Daily Politics
- Like Bona Dicta, but every day. Fun.
1230 Judge Judy
- Today: should Sarah be allowed to date outside of YSTV?
1300 Still of Greg Dyke With The Caption 'He Likes YSTV'
- Because we can.
1400 Ozzy Atton: A Celebration
- Clips from Elections 2003,4 and 5; Bona Dicta; YSTV Week and Battle of the Bands. No particular reason, though, just to celebrate the man.
1529 The Best of Off The Cuff
1530 CYSTV
- Favourite programmes for younger viewers, including
1530 Kat & Ben
- New version of the flowerpot-based show for the 21st century, where Ben boots Bill out of his pot because he'd like his girlfriend to move in.
1545 Short Change
- Everyone goes to James asking for some.
1610 P169/169
- Confusing vision-control-based version of the Scottish schools show.
1635 The Story of Dave Baker
- Dave rescues computers from computer services, known as the 'dumping ground', and provides frequent animated sections for the show for no particular reason.
1700 Blue Peter
- Pete, Sarah and Lucy show you how to make a new look for your own music show.
1725 Bulletin
- Very short news programme that's hardly worth bothering with.
1735 Neighbours
- Day-to-day quarrels and romance between YSTV and Ents.
1800 The Simpsons
- Because we've always shown it so we better carry on showing it.
1830 Look North
- Regional news programme covering Alcuin and surrounding areas.
1900 Wildlife on Campus
- Ducks, ducks and more bloody ducks.
1930 GoodrickeEnders
- There's shock in the college when the vending machine is out of Diet Coke Lemon, and the JCRC return big telly on time. Meanwhile C block residents attempt to construct doors to complement the frames already in place.
2000 Bailiffs
- A look at what might happen to URY if SBN's lawyers get their way.
2030 Meet the Ancestors
- 1/6: Michael Prior-Jones
2100 Flinders: A Warning From History
- Landmark documentary series about one of the greatest threats to face YSTV. Followed by Desperate Directors.
2200 100 Greatest Music Show Title Sequences
2230 Bufton and Hughes Unplanned
- A look at the early days of Small Screen.
2300 Question Time
- Why is the clock sometimes black and white?
- Why is the clock always wrong?
- Why do we carry on meeting at YSTV fifteen minutes before the meeting when we all know where we're going?
- Why is there a photo of Joe Pasquale pinned to the wall by the monitor rack?
- Where did those holes in the floor come from?
- Why not have circuit three before one and two because it is used more?
- Dan Smarg: true or false?
0000 Bona Dicta: The Bits They Tried To Ban
- By popular demand, that Al Power monologue in full.
0030 Great Phone Calls to YSTV
- No. 37: "When do you start filming Heartbeat again?"
0035 Pages from Inform
0200 YSTV Learning Zone: Soldering with Richard
0300-0600 YSTV News 24
- 24 minutes of news repeated till dawn.