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Have I Got News For YUSU script: Difference between revisions
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Residents say the rumoured plan for a local area to adopt a congestion charge is completely unnecessary | Residents say the rumoured plan for a local area to adopt a congestion charge is completely unnecessary | ||
''VT of completely deserted Heslington Village'' | ''VT of completely deserted Heslington Village'' (2008 - London had just adopted it's own congestion charge) | ||
And the campaign to again reduce UGM quoracy levels is a success | And the campaign to again reduce UGM quoracy levels is a success | ||
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On the second team tonight is someone who’s job is to organise such events as the Freshers’ Bash and the Grad Ball. There have been allegations that the star guests at these events have not been high-profile enough, but he says that Bobby Davro might be at the next bash if he can get out of opening a new branch of Shoe Express. James Byron. | On the second team tonight is someone who’s job is to organise such events as the Freshers’ Bash and the Grad Ball. There have been allegations that the star guests at these events have not been high-profile enough, but he says that Bobby Davro might be at the next bash if he can get out of opening a new branch of Shoe Express. James Byron. | ||
Completing our line-up tonight is this year’s president. Unlike his transatlantic counterpart he is not about to launch a nuclear attack, although there are rumours that with the protracted noisy construction of the Goodricke amenities building next to his office he has been tempted. Tom Connor. | Completing our line-up tonight is this year’s president. Unlike his transatlantic counterpart he is not about to launch a nuclear attack, although there are rumours that with the protracted noisy construction of the Goodricke amenities building next to his office he has been tempted. Tom Connor. (2008 - The Goodricke Amenities Building was on completion given the only marginally more catchy name of The Roger Kirk Centre) | ||
In our first round the team are shown some video clips and have to guess the story. First up are Gary and Roly: | In our first round the team are shown some video clips and have to guess the story. First up are Gary and Roly: | ||
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This is the story of over-enthusiastic first year English students who have been applauding at the end of every lecture in the mistake belief that it is what they are supposed to do. Rumours that it has been extended to general union policy have been strongly denied. | This is the story of over-enthusiastic first year English students who have been applauding at the end of every lecture in the mistake belief that it is what they are supposed to do. Rumours that it has been extended to general union policy have been strongly denied. | ||
''cheesy SFX of applause'' | ''cheesy SFX of applause'' (2008 - one bit of the script which didn't make it to broadcast, presumably because no-one could find an appropriate clip in time!) | ||
Tom and James, your headline. | Tom and James, your headline. | ||
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''graphic of CAUGHT IN THE TIGER’S DEN, Tom and James elaborate. JTG asks James what he thinks of Nestle'' | ''graphic of CAUGHT IN THE TIGER’S DEN, Tom and James elaborate. JTG asks James what he thinks of Nestle'' | ||
This is of course the debate on whether the university should deal with unethical companies. This is because Esso has been accused in the past of widening the gaps between the rich and poor, which is of course a million miles away from the university’s decision to introduce differential rates. | This is of course the debate on whether the university should deal with unethical companies. This is because Esso has been accused in the past of widening the gaps between the rich and poor, which is of course a million miles away from the university’s decision to introduce differential rates. (2008 - the uni had in the past year abolished having the same rent rates for all rooms on campus, which was then still a big issue in 2002/3, but now paying as much for Goodricke C as swanky James seems rather quaint) | ||
Gary and Rory, your next headline: | Gary and Rory, your next headline: | ||
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This is the story that manual workers on campus such as porters and cleaners are not being allowed to work overtime, but one porter remarked: | This is the story that manual workers on campus such as porters and cleaners are not being allowed to work overtime, but one porter remarked: | ||
''graphic of… | ''graphic of…'' | ||
“But porters are happy people. We will continue to smile regardless. That is what they pay us for.” | “But porters are happy people. We will continue to smile regardless. That is what they pay us for.” One can only presume that certain members of security are paid to grind their teeth. | ||
Finally, James and Tom: | Finally, James and Tom: | ||
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This is the story of a travel company driving York students on the wrong side of the road into the face of oncoming traffic in Spain. A spokesperson for the company said: | This is the story of a travel company driving York students on the wrong side of the road into the face of oncoming traffic in Spain. A spokesperson for the company said: | ||
''graphic of… | ''graphic of…'' | ||
“I am not willing to get involved in the negative aspects. It was a great success”. | “I am not willing to get involved in the negative aspects. It was a great success”. So perhaps the union can finally say its campaigns for a return to 24-hour portering, an end to differential rents and the construction of a central bar and venue have been successful after all. If you refuse to dwell upon the negative aspects, that it. (2008 - 24 hour portering had ceased the previous year in Vanbrugh and was still an issue, although these days you're lucky to get any porters at all) | ||
And at the end of that round Rory and Gary have X, and James and Tom have X. | And at the end of that round Rory and Gary have X, and James and Tom have X. | ||
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The odd one out is the duck, because that is the only one that is supposed to be in the lake. Langwith pool table ended up in the watery depths in 1994 in suspicious circumstances, in the same year bales of hay were placed in the water to try and improve its quality, and broken glass is said to be at the bottom of the lake from the original construction. | The odd one out is the duck, because that is the only one that is supposed to be in the lake. Langwith pool table ended up in the watery depths in 1994 in suspicious circumstances, in the same year bales of hay were placed in the water to try and improve its quality, and broken glass is said to be at the bottom of the lake from the original construction. | ||
''add outjoke'' | ''add outjoke'' (2008 - as with all good topical comedies some jokes were left to the last minute - not because we couldn't think of any in time, oh no) | ||
Tom and James: | Tom and James: | ||
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''insert recognition of who is in the lead'' | ''insert recognition of who is in the lead'' | ||
The final round tonight is somewhat inevitably the missing words round, featuring contributions from our guest publication The Georgist Voice. | The final round tonight is somewhat inevitably the missing words round, featuring contributions from our guest publication The Georgist Voice. (2008 - [[Matthew Platts]] published this, his own newspaper on campus which gained a degree of notoriety in 2002/3) | ||
''open to both teams'' | ''open to both teams'' | ||
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And | And | ||
''photo of something on campus'' | ''photo of something on campus'' (2008 - kept secret till recording so a secret photo of [[James Gallagher]] thrusting his crotch at the [[YUMAs]] could be used to surprise the host) | ||
Thanks to our outgoing sabbatical officers for joining us tonight. Stay tuned to YSTV to find out who will be doing their jobs next year, but now we leave you tonight with news that cleaning services deny that Bruce Forsythe is modelling for their warning signs. | Thanks to our outgoing sabbatical officers for joining us tonight. Stay tuned to YSTV to find out who will be doing their jobs next year, but now we leave you tonight with news that cleaning services deny that Bruce Forsythe is modelling for their warning signs. | ||
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University residents are united in response to rumours that Matthew Platts will one day stand for SU president. | University residents are united in response to rumours that Matthew Platts will one day stand for SU president. | ||
''photo of Goodricke windows full of “No”s'' | ''photo of Goodricke windows full of “No”s'' (2008 - actually in place to protest at the Iraq war, which finally and somewhat inconsiderately took place during the Easter holidays) | ||
And finally the university at last reveals its new central venue. | And finally the university at last reveals its new central venue. | ||